Lady in Waiting

Do you ever get that feeling that a change is coming? Not the bad kind of change that you fear, but the good change that you're super excited about. It's kind of like being a kid and trying to go to sleep on Christmas Eve, but it's really hard because you know of the goodies that are waiting for you under the tree. Well....I feel like God has something grand planned for me....and I feel like it's just around the corner. I have no idea what it is, but I just have this feeling like change is coming soon. This is a crucial time in my life. Right now as you read this, I am finishing up my next to last semester of college. I thought I was still a freshman, so I don't know how this came to be! But I must say that life has truly changed since I have been a freshman in college. (Don't worry, the stories will come later). I don't know when I became a grown up but it came before I was truly ready....actually, I don't even think I'm ready to be a grown up or if I'll ever be ready. I have to start looking for an actually job, a place of my own to live, pay real bills, learn how to budget and use my money wisely (and sparingly, which probably means intensive couponing), buy insurance to keep me alive and well, and start paying off my nightmarish student loans. (insert horrific scream) But time stops for no one. So I have to keep going....road map or not! What's really had the most impact on me, though, is my relationship with God. I look back and see how much I have grown in this important relationship in my life. I'm at peace. I don't deny the occasional freak out/panic attack but I'm quickly put back at peace when they do come because I rest on the foundation that I serve a great God and he has my back no matter what. I know I'm not the best Christian in the world and I am no where near my peak of spiritual maturity if there is such a thing. But for right now....I'm at peace. And I know that God has something spectacular planned for me (Jeremiah 29:11). Something beyond my wildest imagination....and I have a pretty wild imagination! I'm a lady in waiting, I guess. Waiting for God's plans to unfold in the next chapter of my life. And I've waited this long, so I'm just going to wait patiently for this; just like I've learned to stay in bed until a reasonable time on Christmas morning. It's a hard task....but I trust that it will all be worth the wait. God has never let me down and I know He never will. I don't deny that I doubt Him occasionally, and I admit that I try to write my own story at times....giving up all control is the hardest part of this relationship. Therefore, as I wait, I will pray and continue to let Him mold me into the person that I am to become. I will continue to let him change me for the better...no matter how much I want to resist the change. Change is coming soon....and change....right now, is GOOD!
Love always,
Lauren